Visited an old friend today

Visited an old friend today and it was really nice. I haven't really kept in touch with her much since I have been having my own issues. Actually, I haven't seen much of anyone since all of this started. It's like I have shut everyone out just to protect myself from feeling sad or upset. But, I guess it's time to realize that no matter what, I will always have these feelings, it's a part of infertility. I actually missed her, we were the best of friends for years and years. We are actually more than just BF's, we are also cousins. My Aunt and Uncle adopted her when she was a baby so she is also a part of my family. My husband and I were the ones who introduced her to her ex BF who is also the father of her now 2 yr old boy. It was hard for me because only after about 3 months of them being together she was pregnant, this is also a big reason why I pushed her away. She actually mentioned her son's christening and I asked why she didn't invite me, she told me she didn't want to hurt my feelings becasue she knows how much of a hard time i'm having. I felt so bad thinking that I was being left out, made me wonder if I was being left out of other things too....I know it's hard to be around but I don't feel good being left out either. It's so hard to be an IF girl!!